March 12, 2017

So You Think You've Met The One, Now What?

What a loaded question?! Now, this is primarily for those who are single, dating and even courting however, you married ladies can still take away some nuggets of truth. I absolutely love the power of books, blogs, articles, seminars, conferences etc. but I also believe they’re more impactful when practical instructions are offered on how to implement the wisdom being conferred. With that being said, the three points below are my offerings to you on tips and revelations that have worked for me whether you anticipate meeting the one, you’ve already met the one, or you’re already married to the one.
1. Pray boldly
By boldly I mean: direct, sincere and grand! One of my favorite quotes comes from “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson and it’s so simple yet so profound: ‘God honors bold prayers because bold prayers honor God.’ (see: John 14:14)

March 5, 2017

How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 7

Text: Isaiah 40:31

“A gentleman always knows when.” Those are the words my first lady shared with me that put my heart so at ease it shocked me for a second. That was a major a-ha moment for me after such a powerful morning service where pastor had preached such a powerful word on knowing your purpose and surrendering your will totally to the Lord. I mean it’s not a new topic (I mean what is discussed more than purpose and relationships?) so you might wonder why the excitement. However, the best thing about serving a living God and having access to His living Word is the same scriptures and topics always bring new revelations; the Word only gets better and your knowledge can only get deeper.
Anyway, we were chit chatting about my relationship status and my interest in a certain someone who was taking his sweet time to begin our courtship *wink wink* and this was her response. So short yet so sweet. And soothing; calming to my soul. I needed that. This was around the time i was so high strung on relationship talk, prayers, blogs, devotions, books, pinterest boards, seminars, workshops, you name it! Nothing wrong with preparing my heart for a spouse and learning to appreciate my singleness but my level of obsession needed a chill pill but I had no clue about that!
What I came to learn was that he was moving according to the will of God and me trying to rush ahead of him and especially of God, introduces an opportunity for disobedience.
Side bar: Let’s be conscious of how our “innocent intentions” set others up to sin and fall short of the glory of God. A good thing isn’t necessarily always a God thing. Chew on that for a minute; Selah.
Then we blame God or drift away from Him while blaming Him for the outcomes of our impatience. He never asked for our help with anything except “go ye therefore into all the earth.…” And even then, He wasn’t asking for help as in ‘I can’t do this on my own’ more like ‘come partake in my awesomeness.’

So take heart. God knows when and your mister will know when too! You don’t need to help God or to help your crush to respond. Trust that God has you hidden until he says “when.” Right now, God is crushing on you and waiting for you to look up and notice how much he loves you and longs to be in a more intimate relationship with you. when will YOU make a move towards Him?

Bernie Muinga | Blog

February 19, 2017

How to Maximize your Singleness Devotional: Week 6

Text: Genesis 32:24-26

Our culture places so much emphasis on being married or being in a relationship that being alone is considered undesirable and less than. A poll asked singles what they thought was their biggest struggle—sexual temptation and trying to be content—ranked behind being alone and lonely. But being alone is a beautiful opportunity to turn down the volume of our lives and to spend time in God’s presence.  

A quote by Lynn Whitfield makes a powerful observation. She says, “the stillness to get out of our own way and feel God’s presence is difficult because our instinct is to never be alone.” God longs to be with us, but worldly distractions keep us from being alone in His presence. Anything that pulls us away from seeking God above all else is a distraction. Even the good things that we do for Jesus could be a distraction.  

In Luke chapter 10, Jesus visited the home of sisters Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and “listened to his word,” while Martha was distracted by “much service.” Jesus says to Martha in Luke 10:41, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.” Jesus valued Mary being alone with Him, more than he valued Martha doing things for Him. As single women, nothing can distract us from God like being in a relationship or wanting to be in a relationship.  

We stay in relationships longer than we should because we feel any relationship is better than being alone. We find ourselves lowering our standards just so we don’t have to be alone. “The love life of a Christian is a crucial battleground,” wrote Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity. “There, if nowhere else, it will be determined as to who is Lord: the world, the self and the devil, or the Lord Christ.”  

When we are distracted—be it relationships, social media, activities, worldly pursuits, or even good things—we miss out on an amazing encounter with God. In the thirty second chapter of Genesis, Jacob’s life was forever changed when he was left alone. Genesis 32:24 says, “So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak”. (NIV) God pursued Jacob to wrestle with him. God blessed Jacob when he was intentional about being alone and knowing Him.  

Know that God loves you and that being alone does not take away your value. God wants to do amazing things with you, through your singleness, if you would surrender to His wonderful plan for your life. Psalm 139:23-24 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (NIV) 

What distractions are keeping you from being alone with God? What would God pursue you to wrestle with you about? Are you desperate enough for God to not let you go, until he blesses and changes you for His glory?

Debbie Milton | Blog

Debbie served as a guest speaker for the She is Set Apart 2016 Singles Conference - click here to access her workshop and keynote sessions.

February 12, 2017

How to Maximize Your Singleness Devotional: Week 5

Text: 1 Cor. 13:4, 5

I can remember one Valentine’s Day when my older sister threw herself on my bed and complained to me how unfortunate it was for us to be single yet another year. Apparently as girls, we were missing out on everything that the dating, engaged, and married girls were getting on this day – love notes, flowers, chocolates, snuggles, words of affirmation, and more. She felt left out, she wasn’t being loved and treated the way other girls were on February 14th and almost succeeded in making me feel the same.  

Am I right when I say that this feeling is what the majority of us single girls suffer with every Valentine’s Day? It seems like everybody, everywhere is posting all their cute couple pictures and love stories, and us single girls can easily feel like we’re missing out. 

While we are single in Christ, it is easy to feel envious or even cheated because of what others have and what others are getting on this day of the year. But this feeling is neither of, nor in the love of Christ. Our own Lord’s life was not about getting something but giving and we are commanded to take on His example.  

Amidst the love-fest we see on movies or social media, being single on Valentine’s Day is no excuse for us to become jealous, angry, or self-centered. We must resist that temptation and put our eyes back on Jesus, who, let’s not forget, is our True Love. In Him we find all the romance, love, and fulfillment we could ever need!  

What if in our season of singleness, we take Valentine’s Day and use it to express the love of Christ to others? Rather than fretting over our own wants and needs being met, what if we made the most of the day in order to benefit others? It could be as simple as baking cookies for our siblings, getting together with fellow single girls to make valentines for future husbands, or as big as going out of our way for the poor, afflicted, sick, and imprisoned (those very near to God’s heart). This way we can make the most out of our singleness on Valentine’s Day by giving to others.

Abby Elijiah | Blog