August 24, 2015

Better Remain Single

Photo Credit: Arielle Estoria
A couple of friends of mine have recently started dating. Contrary to how society would paint the picture of the single friend in a group of friends who are all in relationships, I don’t feel any envy, bitterness or jealousy. Gone are the feelings of self-loathing where I’d grab the magnifying glass and desperately ask God to help me in my analysis of what was or still is wrong with me. It hasn’t always been this way; in fact there are days where God has to strongly remind me that He created me to be more than someone’s girlfriend or wife. How often do we hear that in society though?

Two weeks ago I was at church and the pastor shared very briefly about how when she was single, she felt as though she was missing something and was at the end of her rope, then a week later at a wedding I attended, another pastor asked all the single people to stand up and those who didn’t stand were told that they’d miss out on their blessing. We tread on dangerous territory when we allow the standards and expectations of society to dictate the words that are spoken in the church. Nowhere in the Bible does Christ say we will miss our blessing if we’re single, in fact in the book of 1 Corinthians 7:40, Paul tells us that in his opinion it would be better to remain single.

Why is this chapter the one that we skip out on the most not just in church but even in our friendship and family circles? I too am guilty of sometimes having more readily accepted the popular opinion that you need to be in a relationship instead of going to God first and asking Him what I need to have or need to be involved in. I can’t remember when last I heard anything positive about being single. While there is definitely nothing wrong with praying for your future mate, it is much more important to pray to God to make you the best woman you can be not just because you want to one day get married but because you want to get to heaven and whether you’re married or not, you want to hear ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’  

Do you notice that Christ doesn’t say ‘well done my good and faithful married servant,’ or ‘well done my good and faithful unfortunately single servant?’ This tells me that what counts the most for Christ isn’t whether we are married or single, but that we are faithful and true to His word, His call on our lives and that we do whatever He wants us to do whether we are married or single. The goal is for our relationships to point towards Christ, reflecting and mirroring the image of our beautiful Saviour. This shift in perspective is what will change your inner spirit (wo) man to reflect Christ’s glory and excellence. This shift in perspective is what will cause you to see singleness for what it truly is. It’s not a curse, it’s not the worst season of your life, and it’s not a season that you should want to bypass. It’s a season to be enjoyed as you walk closely, hand in hand with Jesus. It’s a season where God works on making you a better woman for the Son of Man. It’s a season to discover Christ’s love for you. It’s a season to be cherished, it’s a season to serve and spend time with God. It’s a season where dreams are birthed and Christ revealed.

Will you commit to making the most of your single season by serving Christ whole-heartedly?

Aurelie, Contributor. describes herself as a Jesus loving vegan just slightly obsessed with macadamia nut butter.  She has always thought that if John the disciple referred to himself as the ‘disciple whom Jesus loved,’ then that’s definitely a conviction I want to carry in my spirit and all I want to be known as.

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